I’m obsessed with my future kids’ Christmas! Yep, that’s my confession.
I know it may seem a bit premature since I dont have any kids in my home, but I ‘ve pretty much mapped out their whole Christmas. I’m going to be a single mom, so I figure I need to be prepared as possible for when they get here. I have this idea that they might come around Christmas, and I dont want to be caught empty handed with a short amount of time to pick up gifts. My resolution for the past three years has been to pick up items little by little to soften the financial blow of having to possibly shop for multiple kids during the holidays.
As a result, my closet is now full of toys. My Amazon cart is also packed with even more stuff. I binge watch “What I Got My Kids for Christmas” videos on Youtube a few times throughlout any given week. Needless to say, my kids’ Christmas has become my guilty pleasure. It’s a momentary escape from my reality, which is an empty house with fully furnished chidlren’s rooms.
I am a born-again Christian, so I am very aware that gifts are not what Christmas is about. I am aware of the commercialism that has crept into such a sacred holiday. I have to stand on guard against getting sucked into overconsuming merchandise just to celebrate the birth of Christ. I admit I haven’t done so well limiting my gift consumption as it pertains to my adoption. My excitememnt has gotten the better of me, and I’ve indulged so that these kids don’t want for anything.
The #1 reason kids come ito foster care is NEGLECT. That’s one of the first facts I learned during training, and it broke my heart. I made it my mission to make sure that whatever kids I get dont want for anything. I’m not making excuses for my indulgence, but that’s the place from where it stemmed. Again, I admit Ive probably gone a little overbaord.
Most likely, I am probably going to end up donating a lot of the items I have purchased over the years. I’m good with that. I participate in annual toy drives anyway, so I’ll just be well prepared. LOL! I honestly didnt realize how much I had accumulated until I pulled everything out one day and spread it out over my bed. It was A LOT!
I realize that feeding into my excitement of what’s to come serves as something that breaks up the monotony of paper work. It also occupies my mind during those notorious holding patterns so prevalent to the adoption process. I am also very aware that I may spend another Christmas childless due to the agency switch and resubmission of paper work. Yet, I still indulge in the Youtube gift guide videos, and I frequent the toy aisles of Target on the regular to see what deals are on clearance. Doing so makes me happy, renews my hope, and fuels my excitement.
While my indulgence is innocent enough, I have to be on guard not to live too far into the future and not go broke in the process! I recently bought a dollhouse off Amazon’s clearance site, but that was the first toy purchases I had bought in a while. So, I’m doing better but it’s still a struggle.
I’ll probably still watch my videos because I like keeping up with what kids are wanting these days, but I just need to keep scaling back on my spending. Again, I’ve been doing much better lately, so it’s under control now. If you’re adopting, do you have any guilty pleasures that you have to keep in check like I do ? If so, please share with me. Hopefully, I’m not the only one who’s gone Christmas crazy. LOL!
Join me next week as I discuss more challenges relating to adoption. I’m not sure what the topic will be. I have a few ideas floating around my head, and I just haven’t settled on one in particular just yet. Just know I want you to join me. Even though I dont get the engagement I want yet, I still enjoy making these posts because I know we’ll get there. So, keep meeting me here. I’ll see you next post !
~Banessa