Hey ! Its been a while since I last posted. If I remember correctly, I came back from a hiatus in my last post. Well, I guess I’m coming back from another one…LOL. All joking aside, I ordinarily pride myself on being consistent but this adoption journey has proven to be emotionally exhausting. I’m just not one to air out my deepest emotions on the internet. However, I’ve come through the thick of it and can better express where I am in the process.
When I posted last, I had just switched adoption agencies. I had made peace with the fact that I felt like I wasted 3 years with an agency that really didn’t specialize in assisting people with my my criteria. I still have peace about it because I am convinced this adoption will happen in God’s timing. The part that made me pull away from blogging was the 7-month process of getting re-licensed through my new agency. I had to resubmit paper work, get re-fingerprinted, have home visits, and endure the process of getting another homestudy.
Yes, it took 7 months! It felt like starting over from scratch. I was emotionally drained. I really had no updates and had nothing interesting to share since this was my second time around and I had already shared the process before. I was tired and quite honestly felt defeated some days because of the slow, repeated process I was going through. The slow process wasn’t a reflection of either agency. That’s just the bureaucracy of adopting through the State. It requires patience, which I have developed plenty of at this point.
There were days that I wanted to quit altogether. I figured. “It shouldn’t be this hard.” I took the long wait as a sign that maybe adoption wasn’t for me. I started thinking of what I’m going to do with all the toys, books and clothes I had purchased over the years. I made a mental list of people I know with small kids who could use these items. I assembled a dollhouse that I was so proud of because I took 2 or 3 hours. I thought of little girls I knew who could use it. Plus, I wanted that stuff out of my house. Just when I psyched myself up to throw in the towel, God kept nudging my heart to keep going. Most of all, the desire to adopt wouldn’t go away. I couldn’t shake it…so I kept going.
Fast forward to April 2024. My second homestudy was complete and I was finally re-licensed and approved to adopt again. I had gained my confidence back and became hopeful again, especially after connecting with a regional adoption group that kept me abreast on adoption events going on for people who want to adopt. They notified me of an Adoption Party where I can met kids for adoption. I was so excited and immediately signed up. Join me in Part 2 of this post to find out what happened. See you there !
~Banessa