It was 6 months ago that I last posted. Try not to hold it against me. Adoption can be a grueling drawn out process that includes a lot of down time and waiting… and waiting…and more waiting. So, I’ll just pick up where I left off.
After I got over the tough decision not to move forward with the little boy, I put myself back out there and began inquiring about other kids who are posted on a national database as legally free for adoption. The downside to inquiring on this website is that the case workers don’t reach back out to you if you’re not a match. You just wont hear anything back, which can be frustrating. However, that’s what I spent most of the summer doing. I would read the profiles of different kids and put in an inquiry if I felt they were a match.
I never heard back from any of those inquiries until one day in September. I had inquired about an 10 year old little girl who was just the cutest kid you’d ever see. My case worker reached out to me and relayed the message that a decision would be made about her sometime in late August. That seemed hopeful enough until the end of August came and went and I had heard nothing back about her. So, I assumed like many times before they had found this child a family and just didn’t bother to contact me with a denial speech.
I had toughened up by this time, so I just shrugged it off and decided to inquire about another little girl. Only this time, the state emailed me back asking me to pause on inquiring about other kids because I was still being considered for the 10 year old. Apparently, they hadn’t made a decision about her yet, and I was still in the running. Again, I felt hopeful. A few days later, my case worker emailed me that I had been selected for that little girl.
I was elated. Finally I was matched! The social workers and I had a conference call to discuss the child life history of the little girl. I found out that she had just had a birthday, so she was now 11. Her profile wasn’t perfect, but this time around, I felt that this was a situation that I could handle as a single parent.
I agreed to move forward, and on October 26, 2024, I met my daughter for the first time. She’s currently living in foster care at a home 4.5 hours away from Atlanta, so I met her at a halfway point in Dublin, Georgia. This is a town I’m familiar with because my brother’s wife is from there, so I’ve been numerous times and knew my way around the city. My brother and sister-in-law recommended a kid friendly restaurant, and that’s where we met for lunch. She was brought there by her transporter and social worker. They sat at a separate table and let the two of us sit together nearby to get to know each other.
I had previously mailed her a scrapbook of my family ahead of time that included family members photos, pics of her school, our church, her room, our house and the family dog so she would know what to expect. When she walked into the restaurant, she instantly recognized me and was so excited to finally meet. It was love at first sight. And what a beauty! This kid has the biggest brown eyes and a pair of dimples to match. She was just adorable and so respectful from the start. Needless to say, we hit off and we both felt we were a good match for each other.
The next meeting was the following weekend back in Dublin at a bowling alley and arcade. My brother and sister-in-law were in town and stopped by along with their 2 nieces to give her someone to play with. Another great visit.
The third visit is when my mother and me traveled to South Georgia to spend the day with her. It was this visit that the attachment started. She followed me everywhere and wanted to be as close to me as possible. She’s not a clingy child but she does yearn for a mother, and she’s made me the object of her affection. And, yes I love it because she is the object of mine, too. The three of us had a girls’ day out and bonded all day. Another great visit.
The next visit was virtual where she face timed me.
The fifth visit was the week of Thanksgiving 2024 where she spent 5 days at my house here in Atlanta. It was her first time at my house, so she got to see where she would live and see everything I had done to her room. I left the walls bare so she could decorate it herself. She loved it! It felt good to see the hard work that I put into her room pay off.
We had the best time. We decorated the tree, got our nails done, baked a cake, and I let her do my hair and makeup. To say we bonded is an understatement. That little girl is my heart, and I can’t wait to her mom. Speaking of which, she still calls me “Ms. Banessa”. According to the experts, it’s good to let adopted kids start calling you Mom or Dad on their own time table. I know its coming. I just don’t know when. I hear it happens at the most unexpected times, so I just hope I can keep my composure she finally says it.
Currently, there are no more visits scheduled. The case workers are moving toward permanency in my home. So, we’ll just have virtual visits until I take full custody on December 21st. We’re waiting until then because her case workers want her to finish the Fall semester at her school. She’s done with school that Friday, and they’re bringing her that Saturday….for good. What a beautiful Christmas present. Speaking of which, I’ve had a blast Christmas shopping this year. I got everything on her list, and even some stuff she didn’t ask for, Lol.
Well, that’s the update. My adoption is finally happening. I’ll post more when she gets here. Because she is technically a ward of the state, the law forbids me to post pictures of her face online. Otherwise, you know I would…Lol.
See you next post!
~Banessa