Pathway To Adoption

Adoption Update: Part II

An Adoption Party is an event thrown by the State where potential adoptive parents can meet children who are up for adoption usually at a local fun spot such as a trampoline park, bowling arcade, or any child friendly gaming spot. The children know that they will be meeting people who could possibly adopt them.  The adoptive parents are told to pass their info to as many case workers as possible as well as talk to any children they may be interested in. 
 
Disclaimer: In order to be invited to one of these parties, you must have a current homestudy done and have already passed all the clearance and background checks. For the safety of the children, these events are not for random people who just want to meet children. You definitely have to be vetted first.
 

That being said, I attended an adoption party held at a local bowling arcade as a private event held before normal business hours so that the children could have the arcade to themselves. There were numerous case workers there as each child is assigned a case worker, which most of them showed up to represent their child. I’d guess about 20 kids were in attendance. We were encouraged to approach each child and have a conversation with them. I will be honest. That seemed a bit awkward for me, and I’m sure it was for the children since we were strangers to them. I understand it’s part of the process, but there were no children there that I felt like I matched with after reading the the bios. So, I just handed my info flyer to as many case workers as I could. We’re encouraged to do that because the case workers may have other children not in attendance that may be a good match. So, after introducing myself to all the case workers present, I left feeling one step closer to an adoption.

A few days later, I received an email from one of the case workers who matched me with a little boy. She knew I wanted girls, but he had stated that he was interested in having little sisters. I thought that was adorable and reached back out to her. After communicating over the course of a few weeks, I had gathered enough information  and wanted to pursue. I had bought a few items for his room and even cleaned out the closet in my guest room. I just knew it was going to be a match until I had the final meeting before meeting him.

 In short, I found out about some behaviors I couldn’t handle and decided not to move forward with the adoption. I never met the little boy. I had only seen pictures and knew what his case worker told me. However, after speaking with a few more involved parties and learning more about the situation, I felt it was best to put on the brakes. I actually grieved a few days. All I can do is pray that this child get the family he deserves that can help him heal. 

This ordeal happened at the end of May 2024. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and hope to God that he is okay and will be loved by his forever family soon. 
 
I have since inquired about other sibling sets on an adoption website that I frequent. None of those inquiries have proven to be a match, but I’m praying that I’ll meet my forever kids soon!

 

STORYTIME: During the time I was in the running for the little boy, I attended a second adoption party at a hotel ballroom because there were some little girls on the website who I was also interested in. There were no children in attendance, only case workers. Each region had tables set up all over the ballroom who set up displays of photos of the children they represent along with each child’s bio. I found the table of the sibling set of girls I inquired about. The table where the display was stood several case workers gathered around. I asked about the girls and the attendant referred me to her superior across the way. When the lady turned around, it was my college classmate Stephanie ! We instantly hugged and caught up on life since college.

Apparently, Stephanie was a big deal in the adoption circuit. I was so grateful to have ran into her. We exchanged info but unfortunately she told me that since I was being considered for an adoption with the little boy that I could not be considered for the girls. Apparently, you cannot have more than one adoption process through the state at a time unless it’s siblings. Since the girls were not related to the boy, their adoption would have been considered separate from his. Nonetheless, I stayed the course and kept my inquiry for the boy in effect meaning which meant I had to cease pursuing the girls. When I finally decided not to move forward with the boy, I reached back out to Stephanie to inquire about the girls but they had already been matched with a family. So, I went from pursuing three kids to none at all. 

For all intents and purposes, I probably should feel discouraged right now but strangely I don’t. I’m still convinced that this will happen in God’s timing. I definitely think the meeting encounter with Stephanie was no coincidence. I told her to keep me in mind for another sibling set of girls that comes across her desk. So, I’m grateful to have that connection. Even though I currently have no prospects and my new agency hasn’t called with any either, I still feel as though I’ve made progress. I continue to persist and will definitely be more intentional about posting. I just had to get over a rough patch of transitioning. I think it’s UP from here.

See you next post !

~Banessa

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