When you begin the adoption process, there really aren’t any promises. You may have a vision of your child. You may imagine their arrival day, what they’ll look like, and you may even fantasize about how easily they will bond with you. The reality is that none of it is a guarantee.
I want 2 healthy African American sisters who are free for adoption and who are fairly young. I know that hopeful anticipation is normal, but I have to remind myself every so often that my adoption goals are not promised to me. This is all very much a faith walk based on what I believe to be my calling, and the outcome is completely up to God and His timing.
This post isn’t an attempt to play devil’s advocate, but I think it would be naïve of anyone adopting to believe in guaranteed results. Of course I believe in staying positive. Just know that the process may or may not turn out the way you imagined. That’s a hard pill to swallow after you’ve gone through the exhaustive adoption process, but the acknowledgement of setbacks deserves some attention since they appear so frequently.
For example, the child of your dreams may come as a package deal with multiple siblings. Your child may suffer from more trauma than you anticipated. Your bonding may take a little longer than you imagined it would. You might have to wait for a placement much longer than you thought. The agency you’re with fails to secure a child that fits your specifications. The list goes on.
For me personally, there are days where I feel like being a mom is an experience that will always be elusive to me. I know my feelings are valid and probably shared by many hopeful adoptive parents. At those times I remember the sentiment from my last post where I stated that adoption is about being available when God needs you- not necessarily when we are ready More importantly, it’s about being okay with when that will be.
Again, I encourage you to maintain your optimism. Just be aware that there may be unknowns during the process that can rattle our faith. Thus, our prayer should be that God helps us to be okay with His answer, His timing, and the path He has set for us.
I know this post wont be a favorite read. I understand. It wasn’t my favorite one to write, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t address the topic of uncertainty. As always, BE ENCOURAGED. Just be open to where God leads you and to His answer. I may not know the outcome of my adoption process. What I do know is that I have placed this desire in the hands of an omniscient God who I trust will grant or not grant me this desire according to His will for my life. Because of that, I can better cope with the uncertainty I face…and prayerfully so can you!
Thanks for reading…See you next post!
Banessa