Hey good people ! As I mentioned in the last post, I am currently recovering from a back injury. At my last physical therapy session, I remember thinking there was no way I was going to get well unless I pushed through this pain. It meant I had to follow instructions and do my home exercises even when it hurt, and even when I didn’t feel like it.
Days later, I visited the chiropractor who included a session with her therapist to work on my back. They laid me on a massage table that looks similar to the one used at day spas. At first, I thought this would be a mellow, relaxing back massage that would soothe my pains and maybe even drift me off to a tranquil sleep. WRONG.
This lady brought the pain ! She used the palm of her hands, elbows, and forearms to dig into my flesh. When I hollered, that was her indication that she located my pain. Instead of petting the area, she applied heavy pressure and allowed it to persist a moment. Ouch! The point was to loosen the muscle tissue and reduce inflammation. If that wasn’t enough, she then pressed a massage gun into my lower back and set it on high intensity, at least it felt like high intensity.. LOL.
It was achy and uncomfortable, but I clinched my fists and pressed through it. Everything she was doing to my back was to help me heal, and I know trusting this painful process will pay off soon.
The same principle applies to the adoption process.
Even though most adoption stories in the media tend to focus on the happy ending where the parent(s) finally take custody of the child and live happily ever after, I can attest that that narrative isn’t entirely true.
Allow me to list a few painful experiences many adoptive parents live through while and after adopting:
~Infertility
~Multiple miscarriages
~For those adopting infants, birth moms changing their minds… which is most definitely their right but I hear that can be painful to adoptive parents who had gotten their hopes up.
~Rejection from the adopted child
~For foster parents, a judge returning a child in their custody back to an abusive home
~Having a sinking feeling throughout the process that it may never happen because of the many delays endured thru the process.
~Hurting for a hurting child in your custody
I could go on, but you get the gist. At some point, people who adopt will experience pain in some form or another. It’s easy to quit and just accept that childlessness is just your lot in life. Now, its perfectly ok if someone doesn’t want children. Its just that when you do, you have to decide if you’re going to accept not having kids or if you’re going to be proactive and find another route.
If you choose to adopt, just know there will be some bumpy roads ahead. I believe, however, that the process is worth it. James 1:27 is my foundational scripture for adoption. It says, “Pure and undefiled religion before God the Father is this, to take care of widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.”
I do understand that adoption is not the only way to care for orphans. Volunteering, donating essentials, and providing respite care are all ways to care for children. Adoption is just my method of choice because I want to be a mom. Again, this path won’t always be as smooth as we like it to be. However, I believe that because we are obeying scripture, God will bless our endeavor to assist children in need. Know that God has a plan for you as He has a plan to the children that will one day be in your care.
It’s worth it to press through the pain because in the end, you are providing a child with a safe and loving home who wouldn’t otherwise have one if you didn’t. So, I encourage you as I encourage myself to keep pushing. Know that God is with you, and better days are ahead for you. Be blessed & See you next post !
~Banessa