I’m pretty sure that anyone adopting a child doesn’t need the help of a blog to determine which gender they prefer to adopt, but I’m writing it anyway ! Lol.
Most adopters go into the adoption process already knowing which gender they want. I know I did. I specifically want 2 little girls who are sisters. Siblings are hard to place in the foster care system, and I want to provide a home in which a sibling set can remain together. Plus, they’ll have each other for company. I recently told my case worker that if those little girls have a brother, I’d take him too! So, two is the number I set out to adopt, but I’ve learned the most common sibling set is the number 3. I know it’s a lot, but I’m trying to remain open.
Although I am open, I must admit I am a little nervous about adopting a boy if the opportunity presents itself. I’m a single woman looking to adopt black children. Black boys are the least requested children in the adoption system. Go to any adoption agency, and the fee for black boys of any age will be the lowest of any other race and gender. For this reason, I’m open to taking in a black boy. My hesitancy exists because I hold the belief that little black boys in today’s society need a father. Girls do as well, but I am concerned about my ability to provide the tough discipline necessary to raise a boy. Single mothers of boys are amazing, but there is no substitute for the male presence and guidance little boys need to become men.
It’s not my intention to offend anyone. Again, single moms of boys are amazing and quite often do an awesome job raising their sons. However, I know myself. I am a nurturer, and I fear I may be overly nurturing to a little boy. I guess there is nothing inherently wrong with that, but there is no male in the household to provide the tough balance boys need growing into manhood. If God gives me a boy, I am sure He will guide me and supply what we need. I’m just a little nervous about the long-term effects of my overly nurturing nature with a little boy. I’d love to read your thoughts on this…find the comment section below ! (Keep reading.)
On the other hand, my reason for wanting little girls stems directly from the relationship I have with my mother. I want to give daughters the same or similar relationship that my mother formed with me. I know they will be their own person, and our relationship won’t exactly mimic mine and my mother’s relationship. Yet, I will aim to bestow as much love and guidance to them as I can. I’d love a father for them, too, because girls need dads as well. There’s solace in knowing that my dad and brother are prepared to stand in as the strong male figures in their lives. That does boost my confidence a little about a boy and is another reason I’m open to adopting one.
What gender are you hoping to adopt ? Leave me a comment below. What concerns do you have about either gender, if any? Let’s discuss !
See you next post!
Banessa